Be It Ever So Humble….

28 Sept., 2015

I thought you might be interested in seeing more of my apartment. You know, besides my bathtub and washing machine.  First, let me describe my area. I live within the city of Ternopil, but in a bedroom community about half an hour from the city center (by bus). I live in a Soviet-era apartment block – as many people in this region do. And I am surrounded by scores of these buildings, which sometimes makes it tricky to navigate since they all look so similar. But I’m slowly finding my way…mostly using graffiti as my landmarks.

My street address is Kyivs’ka St 8/46, Ternopil and I encourage you to look it up on Google Maps. Here’s a quick overhead look.

See all those rows and squiggly lines? Each of those is a 12 story square brick building. Each one uglier than the next. My apartment is found through the second doorway of my complex. It looks like this:

It doesn’t exactly scream homey, does it? Too bad I didn’t capture the big dog that sleeps in the dirt behind the bench, or the smell of rotting garbage. But you can imagine for yourself.  Inside the locked doorway  there are stairs. The first thing you notice is how dark it is. If you’re coming to the building during the daytime or early evening, you will see a shaft of light between the first and second floor.  If you come home at night, you’re in total, eerie darkness. I see light fixtures on each floor and have asked about them.  Apparently the lightbulbs are stolen from them as soon as they’re put in so nobody bothers anymore. (I took these photos midday when the sun was at its brightest).

The second thing you notice is the smell. It’s an odd, yet distinct, combination of kasha and urine. It kind of hits you in the back of your sinuses as you reach the first floor landing.

Note the floor number drawn on with a red Sharpie.

 

Here’s my mailbox, on the second floor. Don’t ever send me something here. I would never, ever get it.

I have the luxury of a small elevator in my building but I only use it if I’m carrying lots of heavy items and the stairs are too hard to navigate. The elevator is dark and creepy and would be right at home in a low-budget slasher film.

  

 

I live on the third floor…. In a very dark corner. It’s usually so dark in fact that I have to use a flashlight to find the keyhole.

On a positive, note, it’s quite secure. In fact, I have two locked doors!

Once inside my apartment, it’s actually warm and well-lit. I am extremely lucky in that I have my own apartment and it is quite spacious, especially by Ukrainian standards. The décor looks nothing like the outside. There is an entry way covered in a wallpaper of pink roses, complete with smoked-glass sliding doors that cover my coat closet and living room when extended.

I have a separate living room, with a balcony. But before you say ‘ooooh…balcony!’ you should know it’s a squat cement space designed to hang your laundry to dry. American balconies serve a different purpose.

L-shaped sofa can sleep two semi-comfortably, in case you’re wondering.

No, the TV does not get English channels. But I try to watch the news in Ukrainian. Some days I even (sort of) understand it.

My not-so lovely but very functional balcony.

The Bedroom is pretty nondescript. A bed, a table, a chair and a closet. The cord snaking its way down the floor is actually my internet connection. So naturally I spend a lot of attached to the end of it.

You’ve seen enough of my bathroom, but here’s a ‘happy ending’ shot of both rooms, now that the pipes are in order.

The bathroom floor is heated!

The kitchen is my favorite space….mostly because of the cheery wallpaper depicting a hilly scene in which I imagine Julie Andrews appearing, singing “The Hills are Alive….” It has possibly been re-enacted in her absence as well (but I admit nothing on the record).  I love the little red stove, despite the fact that the oven doesn’t work.  The amenities are simple, but I have all that I need.

From this side of the apartment building I have a lovely view of the trees along the main road. Half a block down there are little shops and vendors lining the streets but on this end it’s relatively quiet.

 

 

So there you have it. Home sweet home. There’s plenty of space for visitors and you’re more than welcome to come. Just saying….